


Empty Ego

by AJ_Box_King



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Other, Sadstuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-27
Updated: 2016-02-27
Packaged: 2018-05-23 10:33:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6113823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AJ_Box_King/pseuds/AJ_Box_King
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One shot. Dave goes back in time...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Empty Ego

**Author's Note:**

> Haha I can't write fluff. ... so for those who follow my multichapter fic, this is the story I promised as an apology? It's not very romantic, and if it's not your thing, then maybe I'll find time to write fluff soon? Maybe take requests and stuff. Anyway, this is the cleaned up version of two, the other being on ff.net. They're actually quite a bit different, if you would like to compare for yourself. Wow this is a ramble anyway bye children see you next week and enjoy!

Empty Ego

It was his first time making a stable time loop. He had tried doing that for a while, always resulting in straight failure, but he had a game to beat, friends counting on him, and he was determined to succeed. Dave found that admirable. He thought about the innocence of that kid, how he would grow to learn more about loneliness, death, and responsibility in the next three years of his life than he could have ever imagined.

In the beginning, it was just a game. Dave missed the naivety, missed the simplicity, of everything that had been back then. He had promised to never go back, to stop messing with the timeline, but he allowed himself to for just this time He was a doomed copy anyway. Destined to die somewhere, a pointless existence, courtesy of time's sadistic way of dealing with loops.

He had been here, with the Dave from the beginning of the session, for a while now--almost since this Dave had first entered the session. Never interfering, resigned to only watching until he ran out of borrowed time. The original Dave was interesting. He had a lot of quirks, a view of life quite different from his own. His younger personality was less dented, still headstrong, convinced in his ability to finish this and to always know what he was doing. This Dave was still looking forward to a surely imminent bro-ly wife beater encounter with his bro-est of best bros John, oblivious to the three year chasm that would separate them. He was more alive and more innocent in his own ironic way.

Dave had abandoned the irony act a while ago, only to discover, ironically, that most of it wasn't an act. It had grown so twisted that even he couldn’t pick out the things he earnestly liked from those he liked ironically. 

There were physical differences too, aside from the obvious. The shades younger Dave wore, Ben Stillers from an era long gone, were exactly but not quite his own. Those shades were newer, shinier. Despite how much Dave had tried, his sunglasses had faded, lenses still crystal clear but the reflection hazy, gold frame almost unnoticably bent and scratched..

For a time-weary Dave, this kid was a breath of fresh air.

Which explained why Dave was not at all surprised at first when he noticed he was starting to get way too attached to this kid. It was only natural, after all, for the brain to confuse admiration and pity for infatuation and love.

No, the nausea, the self-hatred that became a routine part of Dave’s so-called life came later, when he realized how messed up this really was.

He was, in a sense, stalking himself. An ultimate egotism, that made him miserable the more he thought about it.

Age aside, were they really that different from each other? What was it that made Dave unable to move away? Somewhere along the line, the playfulness had faded, apple juice gone, and even his meticulously maintained irony had given one last hurrah before sputtering out.

Somewhere along the line, he had ceased to be himself.

Sometimes, he thought Dave could see him. A stupid thought, really, but even after years of experience it's still hard to tell exactly which way a person wearing shades was looking. So he was extra careful. A mess up here would change the alpha timeline, and change the course of everything. Not good.

So as much as Dave wanted to burst from the shadows, hold the younger Dave in his arms, kiss the gentle innocence, protect this kid from the miseries he himself went through, from the responsibilities young Dave would soon have to assume, he couldn’t. It was painful, but it had to be done.

In times like these, Dave regretted his decision. He was scared to time travel somewhere else, because of the risk of creating an unstable loop. He thought, while he followed alpha Dave around, and imagined all the possible situations where he could escape to. It was a relief when he finally thought of the answer.

He had to go back to the time when he first thought of going to see younger Dave, and kill that version of himself, the one that had led him into this mess.

As a Dave, he could truly appreciate the irony going in here. He was doomed to have done this the whole time, it was never even an option. He was doomed to die at his own hands, to prevent the sadness he had caused himself, yet at the same time fulfilling the fate all doomed timelines had to end up at.

Ironic.

By this point, alpha Dave had reached the stock market, and had begun to make the doomed Daves that would help him loot the stock market. Another Dave would not be noticed as out of place--Dave wasn't known for keeping very good track if anything. This might be his only chance to be noticed. Making a quick decision, he positioned himself behind a pillar, and waited patiently, holding his breath.

Younger Dave glanced around, admiring his work. At the right moment, they were all going to move their boondollars, sell their stock, and blow this economy sky high. All of the Daves were standing around, loitering, having side conversations about one thing or another.

Well, except for the Dave behind the pillar.

They met eyes for a moment, a flash something sparking between them. The renegade Dave flashed him a thumbs up. Confusion prevailed for that moment before alpha Dave looked away to give the signal.

Dave turned away from the pillar, from the young Dave crashing the stock market, like he once had. He hoped that that thumbs up would do some good, without messing with the timeline too bad. He glanced around one last time, looking at all the babbling crocodiles and Daves, at the steampunk-esque terrain. He flashed away, to do one last deed, and finish this offshoot before it even began.

He reappeared, behind himself, watching himself mull over the decision to go back. He brought out his sword, pulling it back. The other Dave heard the sword unsheath, and turned around.

“Don't even think about it.” He stabbed in one fluid motion, not taking time to think, feeling the sword go through the others chest. He felt the pain in his own chest, saw the other version of himself dying. He crumpled to the ground, holding his chest in agony.

“F-fuck.”He didn't think dying would hurt this much. He felt lighter and yet heavier, almost like his soul was being separated from his body. The last edge in his mind dissolved, bringing the blissful oblivion that he has sought and would never get to feel.

Far and a while away, Dave, nearing the end of his 3 year journey, felt a greater appreciation for himself.


End file.
